Reflective

It’s true. The environment we live in, particularly for those of the African Diaspora, socially, politically, economically, educationally, in terms of justice, health, religion and I could go on; is in varying degrees against people of colour. In the UK we talk about “institutional racism”, “implicit bias”, “microaggressions”, these are like a slow steady force, like the calm waves against rock, gradually over time wearing us down. Of course you also have outright aggressive racism, which we hear is on the rise in the USA, but still we deal with everywhere in the form of verbal and physical violence, police brutality, even killings.

Are we maladjusted? No. They system we are a part of is not “normal”. To frame such an environment as normal, one has to betray a part of their humanity and thus lose it. This world is anything but normal, things are not as they should be. As a black man, my mind is adjusted for on-going trauma, something verging on “hyper-awareness”, not only because of the closet and even open hostility of people I may meet, and also for situations I may encounter, sporadically or even as part of my routine, such as work. This pressure on the mind is a force that produces some negative reactions. To abstract this, there is noting surprising about that statement for many living organisms, people, animals, plants, all struggle in environments where the conditions are not optimal for their growth.

I found Professor Odi’s comments on black women very interesting, indeed for some not all, “they rather watch me die on the horse than get off it”. Are men to be somewhat like expendable pawns for the women in their lives? Yes men have to be strong, but there needs to be true union of purpose and will between partners for that self-sacrificial love for “providership” to be legitimate. In large part because of the system we are in, many black men will fail to be that “provider” in a reliable way. I’ve seen relationships strained and break down over money. It’s not uncommon for women to leave a relationship if their needs aren’t being met.

My question is, how do we, as black people in the Diaspora evolve in terms of our relationships given the environment we face? Are we headed in a way that promotes relationships with longevity, that build trust, that find a way through the “cold whiteness”; or will we remain locked into whatever favours us at the time, short-termism, perhaps whatever is expedient? I believe we have to think as a community, about building a future, not primarily based on wealth and financial security, but on bonds that hold a more stable currency that keeps us together and slowly improves us from within, even through the various challenges and trials we face.

That all said, this is a must watch video that gets to some topics we don’t often talk about in relation to black men and relationships. I really was refreshing to see and hear these men, part of a growing number of black men talking with eloquence, intelligence and common sense about real issues, and not the foolishness some people are all about nowadays. Courtesy of the Express Yourself Black Man Podcast – YouTube.